A Modern If: Finding Truth and Path in Life

Here are some tips for raising virtuous boys:

- Teach them empathy and compassion - Encourage them to consider how their actions affect others and to have concern for people's wellbeing. Teach them to be kind. 

- Demonstrate and reinforce good character - Be a role model of integrity, honesty, respect, responsibility, etc. and praise them when they display these virtues.

- Promote service and contribution - Provide opportunities for them to help others through community service, volunteering, acts of kindness. This builds selflessness.

- Teach accountability and integrity - Don't let bad behavior slide. Make them take responsibility for wrongdoing and make amends. Stress the importance of doing the right thing.

- Teach them to solve conflicts peacefully - Encourage them to use diplomacy, compromise, and non-violence to resolve disputes. Don't tolerate bullying or aggression. 

- Surround them with good male role models - Make sure coaches, teachers, relatives model good values of humility, hard work and respect for others.

- Read books and have discussions on character - Use stories and parables to reinforce moral principles like honesty, courage, wisdom. Analyze the virtues and flaws of characters.

- Set clear rules and enforce consequences - Establish boundaries and guidelines for respectable behavior. Follow through consistently with fair discipline when rules are broken.

- Praise effort and growth - Applaud when they strive for self-improvement, not just accomplishments. Reinforce that virtues are learned through practice.

The key is instilling both the desire and skills to be virtuous, ethical, kind, responsible young men. With patience and wisdom, parents and teachers can nurture morals that will serve boys well.

Here are some tips for supporting boys with ADHD and behavioral difficulties after COVID:

- Structure, rules, and routine are very important. Have set times for waking up, meals, schoolwork, screen time, etc. Use visual schedules if helpful. Predictability and consistency are key.

- Break tasks and instructions down into smaller steps. Give directions one at a time rather than multiple commands. 

- Incorporate movement and hands-on activities as much as possible to allow boys to expending energy. Take frequent brain breaks.

- Set clear rules and expectations for behavior. Use positive reinforcement like praise and rewards to encourage good behavior. Avoid criticism and punishment.

- Help boys understand and express their emotions. Validate their feelings. Teach them calming techniques like deep breathing when frustrated. 

- Make sure they get plenty of physical activity and time outdoors. Exercise helps improve focus and behavior.

- Work on social skills like sharing, taking turns, listening. Role play scenarios. Offer feedback.

- Collaborate with teachers and other care providers for consistency across settings. Share strategies that are effective.

- Talk to your pediatrician if ADHD symptoms persistently interfere with learning and relationships. Consider an evaluation or medication if needed.

- Be patient and keep lines of communication open. It takes time for boys to adjust after COVID disruptions. Celebrate all progress!

The most important things are providing structure/routine, using positive reinforcement, helping express emotions, and collaborating across settings. Be consistent and celebrate small wins.

If you can keep your cool when all around you,

Are talking and ticking and blaming you for stuff,

If you can wait your turn when you feel impulsive,

And not just talk, balk, or squawk in a big huff,

If you can dream of fun things you want to do,  

But get your homework done and chores all too,

If you can think through problems in your head,

But not get stuck in thought and spaced instead,

If you can be a good sport when you win and lose,

And not act like a selfish jerk or make a scene, 

If you hear kids talking trash and telling lies,

But you don't spread their rumors, that's so wise!

If you see your Jenga tower fall down flat  

And have to start from scratch with all you've got,

If you can play your best in any game,

And not get mad and quit if you lose fame,

If you can jump right back up when you skin your knee,

And not sit crying, waiting for sympathy,

If you can wait to watch your show at night, 

Until your homework's done and room is tight,

If you can be yourself with every friend,

And not just follow the mob to fit in,

If you can fill each minute learning and having fun, 

Then kiddo, you're the coolest son!

Here is my edited version with the suggested changes:

If you can keep your cool when all around you,

Are talking and ticking and blaming you for stuff,

If you can wait your turn when you feel impulsive,

And not just talk, balk, or squawk in a big huff,

If you can dream of fun things you want to do,

But get your homework done and chores all too,

If you can think through problems in your head,

But not get stuck in thought and spaced instead, 

If you can be a good sport when you win and lose,

And not act like a selfish jerk or make a scene,

If you hear kids talking trash and telling lies,

But you don't spread their rumors, that's so wise!

If you see your Jenga tower fall down flat

And have to start from scratch with all you've got,

If you can play your best in any game, 

And not get mad and quit if you lose fame,

If you can jump right back up when you skin your knee,

And not sit crying, waiting for sympathy,

If you can wait to watch your show at night,

Until your homework's done and room is tight,

If you can be yourself with every friend,

And not just follow the mob to fit in,

If you can fill each minute learning and having fun,

Then kiddo, you're the coolest son!

Here is my attempt at rewriting Kipling's "If" to teach core virtues to young men lacking direction:

Young man, if you can think clearly when others panic,
Yet understand their fear comes from a place within,

If you can wait through trying times, patient and grateful
For lessons that hardship alone can teach us,

If you can dream of greatness but keep your ambition humble,
If you can ponder life deeply but not lose sight of living it,

If you can face both success and failure with equanimity,
Seeing each as a teacher to guide you ahead,

If you can hear your words distorted by those who misunderstand,
Yet hold no bitterness in your forgiving heart,

If you can see your hard work come undone and start over,
Persisting with courage to create something better,

If you can risk all you have and not despair at losing,
But resolve to rebuild with the lessons learned,

If you can push past exhaustion to serve a purpose greater,
Sustained by self-control and moral discipline,

If you can stay true to virtue though others test you,
And see their humanity despite their faults,

If no friend nor foe can shake your commitment to growth,
Yet you never see yourself above anyone else,

If you fill each moment improving your character and wisdom,
Then you will become the man you were born to be.

Have patience, gratitude, and faith on your journey, son.