The loud cacophony of a classroom in chaos rings in my ears, as I gaze upon the product of our strange, modern times - the Man-Child, in numbers growing ever larger. "Boys will be boys," they say with a chuckle and a wink, excusing bad behavior as inherent to the sex, when in truth we see the emergence of something new. The Man-Child, extending his adolescence indefinitely, resisting the transition to true manhood. Where once we sought to guide boys into responsible adulthood, we now coddle them in prolonged immaturity.- The "man-child" phenomenon - males extending adolescence indefinitely, resisting maturation into manhood- Society no longer provides clear rituals, rites of passage to guide boys into responsible adulthood- Erosion of institutions like family, community, and church removes support systems for proper male development- Boys feel adrift and turn to idleness, vice, misogyny due to lack of purpose and mentors- Economic changes enable prolonged male adolescence; men evading expectations to provide, protect, lead- Permissive parenting and education system coddles boys instead of enforcing discipline- Absent/disengaged fathers unable to steer sons wisely into manhood- Lack of strong male role models and mentors leaves boys insecure and immature- Social media and technology leads boys into escape rather than real relationships/community- Schools must have higher expectations, more male teachers, physical outlets to channel aggression- Society must rebuild local civic organizations and churches to provide moral instruction- Popular culture should celebrate honorable manhood not belittle it- All of us must demand boys develop qualities like honor, courage, sacrifice, self-control- Only by guiding boys into dignified manhood can we heal social divisions and reinvigorate community
The fault lies not simply with the individual boy, for he is shaped by the broader forces of society. There is a deep pathology in our modern world, which stunts the development of boys into men. As the great institutions of family, community and nation have eroded, so too have the rites of passage which shepherded boys into manhood for generations past. Volunteerism, civic participation, church-going - long provided avenues of meaning, purpose and mentorship for young males as they came of age - are now largely absent. Boys are disconnected, adrift, their energies misplaced in idleness and vice.
Too long has this worrying trend been ignored, the Man-Child phenomenon dismissed as innocuous. Yet the arrested development of males has dire consequences for society. The turbulent ocean of adolescence must be navigated, lest boys are cast aimlessly amidst the waves, never finding safe harbor in mature adulthood. The teenage lad must put away childish things, reject the reckless egoism of youth, learn self-control, cultivate wisdom, accept adult responsibilities - in short, become a man. A society populated by those mentally frozen in adolescence cannot flourish, as the trials of our current times make all too clear.
The epidemic of the Man-Child afflicts modern America in particular. Yet it was not always so. Millions of men from America's greatest generations crossed the threshold from callow, selfish youth into courageous, responsible adulthood - on the battlefield, in the workplace, through marriage and family duties - modeling maturity for those who came after. Today's youth enjoy comforts and entertainments undreamed of by predecessors who helped remake the world through their grit, tenacity and sacrifice. Yet few answer the call to likewise achieve greatness - shunning the duties expected of grown men, they choose instead the life of everlasting play.
Women increasingly lament the paucity of "economically attractive" men. Indeed, the economic and social changes of our age enable the perpetuation of male adolescence as never before. The hard-won achievements of feminism have perversely allowed too many men to evade the expectations once placed upon them - to provide, protect, lead. Liberated from societal pressure to grow up, the bachelors of our age linger in a homosocial demimonde of idle recreation. Premarital cohabitation obviates the impetus to commit. Plummeting religious observance cuts them off from a potent source of moral instruction and community. The ascent of women in college and career leaves many feeling inadequate, fueling retreat into the consolation of baleful misogyny.
We heap scorn on the feckless Peter Pans who sponge off their parents into middle age. Yet as a teacher, I cannot place blame solely on the individual boy. Those who acquiesce in his prolonged adolescence - the permissive parent, the pandering educator - are equally culpable. Behold the absurd paradoxes of our inverted times: boys disciplined for boyish misadventure, while excused for serious misconduct lest we harm their "self-esteem". The rambunctiousness and competitiveness of young males airbrushed away, their unique developmental needs ignored in deference to unofficial orthodoxies. Games without scores, trophies for all, rewards disconnected from achievement - we breed male mediocrity and then wonder at its fruits. But true self-esteem arises not from empty praise, but earned success after meeting hardship and challenge.
Too many boys lack strong fathers who might steer them wisely into manhood. Parent and child navigate the treacherous passage together - reefs of resentment on one side, maelstroms of excessive closeness on the other. Across these hazardous waters, the father bridges past and future, drawing on the lessons from his youth to guide the next generation. With so many fathers absent - either physically or emotionally - boys lack a pilot to steer them away from stagnant pools of prolonged adolescence.
Young males require mentors and role models to shape them. When such figures gain too much authority over the direction of boys’ lives, dangerous overcorrections can result. The predations of monsters like Jerry Sandusky, who cynically used the mentor’s mantle to groom victims, make us reluctant to allow any deeper influence by non-parental adults. Yet in banishing all uncertain mentoring relationships, out of justified fear of abuse, we deny boys connections vital to their maturation. The voluntary organizations and civic institutions which once reliably supplied mentors for youth have markedly declined anyway, leaving a vacuum.
Boys long for authentic role models, as their abundant insecurities attest. The polished celebrities and Instagram influencers they idolize offer hollow bromides and ersatz empowerment. Social media gleams with promises of popularity, riches and easy gratification. No wonder boys lose themselves in digital diversion, preferring the curated identities of cyberspace to the difficult path to mature self-knowledge. Adrift online, they cling to virtual facsimiles of community, harmless substitutes for the real bonds once forged through family, neighborhood and shared sacrifice.
In this broader context, the teacher can only do so much. But small changes within the classroom may yield some benefit. Fewer lectures, more discussion. More collaboration to build teamwork and empathy. Higher expectations, consistently applied, to stretch capabilities. More recess time and physical contests to channel aggression into healthy competition. An atmosphere of mutual respect between teacher and students, where boisterous impulses need not lead to confrontation. Granular feedback on behavior, both positive and negative. More male teachers, who recall the trials of boyhood and provide understanding counsel.
On a societal level, we must resurrect the communal supports which once molded boys into men of substance and character. This begins with reinvigorating civil society, and the “little platoons” of localized institutions which foster civic engagement and responsibility. Churches, too, must reclaim their role in instructing the young and setting moral standards. Government policies should encourage family formation and parental involvement. Popular culture should celebrate examples of ethical manhood, instead of ridiculing them. And all of us must uphold greater expectations from boys and young men, both in deed and in word, emphasizing admirable qualities like honor, fidelity, magnanimity, self-control and courage.
The project of man-making has faltered, yet it remains vital. Across our divided land, we hear calls to rejuvenate the community, heal deep social rifts, and instill a renewed ethic of national service and sacrifice. These noble goals will prove elusive if we continue to indulge the antics of dilletantes who refuse the duties of adulthood. Still, embedded within our jaded Zeitgeist glimmers the possibility of cultural renewal, a rediscovery of the roles and rituals which might successfully pass boys through the portal to dignified manhood. To restore this healthy passage shall be the lifework of reformers present and future, who refuse to abandon young males to the inertia and alienation of a lingering boyhood.
We must stem the recessional of responsibility, lest it carry our boys ever backward into sterility and gloom. With clear eyes, let us appraise our weakened institutions and frayed social fabric, and commit to the labor of repair. Through insight, courage and faith, we shall cultivate ardent little boys into heroic men, welding fractured generations into purposeful communities once more.
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