20 Essential Manners and School Etiquette That Seem to Be Fading or Lost

Discover 20 essential school manners and etiquette practices fading from classrooms today. Learn how respect, courtesy, and basic manners shape students.

"20 Essential Manners and School Etiquette"

Discover 20 essential school manners and etiquette practices fading from classrooms today. Learn how respect, courtesy, and basic manners shape students

Here are ten more eloquent quotes about manners, etiquette, respect, and grace:

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners." - Laurence Sterne Connects inner values with outward behavior toward others.
"Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax." - Arthur Schopenhauer Illustrates how courtesy softens and shapes our interactions beautifully.
"A man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Suggests our behavior reflects our true character to the world.
"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage." - Theodore Roosevelt Elevates kindness to the same status as traditional masculine virtues.
"Grace is the beauty of form under the influence of freedom." - Friedrich Schiller Captures how true grace comes from authentic, unforced elegance.
"Treat everyone with respect and kindness. Period. No exceptions." - Kiana Tom A simple but powerful call for universal courtesy.
"Nothing is more graceful than habitual cheerfulness." - Joseph Addison Reminds us that a pleasant disposition is a form of grace itself.
"Good manners are cost effective. They not only increase the quality of life in the workplace, they contribute to employee morale, embellish the company image, and play a major role in generating profit." - Letitia Baldrige A practical perspective on etiquette's tangible benefits.
"Respect is one of life's greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don't have that?" - Marilyn Monroe Emphasizes respect as fundamental to meaningful existence.
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." - Dorothy Nevill Highlights the wisdom of restraint and thoughtful communication.

1. Raising Hands Before Speaking The structured turn-taking of waiting to be called on has given way to more spontaneous classroom discussions. While this can encourage engagement, it sometimes results in students calling out answers or interrupting others mid-sentence.

2. Standing When Adults Enter the Room This once-universal sign of respect for teachers, principals, or visitors has virtually disappeared from most American classrooms, though it persists in some private schools and international education systems.

3. Addressing Teachers Formally The shift toward first-name basis or casual "Mr./Ms." without surnames reflects broader cultural changes toward informality, though many educators feel this diminishes professional boundaries and the professional learning environment.

4. Waiting to Be Dismissed Students often pack up belongings and crowd the door before the bell rings, rather than waiting for the teacher's formal dismissal—a practice that once signaled respect for the instructor's authority and the completion of the lesson.

5. Writing Thank-You Notes The tradition of thanking teachers, guest speakers, or field trip hosts with handwritten notes has largely disappeared, replaced by quick emails or no acknowledgment at all. Expressing gratitude in writing taught students the value of appreciation and effort.

6. Proper Posture and Attention Sitting up straight, facing forward, and maintaining eye contact during instruction has been replaced by slouching, looking at devices, or multitasking during lessons. This physical attention demonstrated mental engagement and respect for the speaker.

7. Asking Permission to Leave Some students now simply leave the classroom when needed rather than asking permission, reflecting both changing school policies and shifting attitudes about autonomy versus courtesy and safety protocols.

8. Cafeteria Cleanup Taking responsibility for clearing one's own tray, pushing in chairs, and leaving spaces clean for others has declined, with students sometimes leaving messes for custodial staff. The principle of "leave it better than you found it" seems less ingrained.

9. Respecting Quiet Zones Libraries and study halls were once sacrosanct quiet spaces. Today, many schools struggle with maintaining these environments as students talk, use devices, or treat them as social areas, disrupting those trying to concentrate.

10. Greeting Teachers in Hallways The simple acknowledgment of saying "Good morning," "Hello," or making eye contact with teachers outside the classroom seems less automatic, with students often absorbed in phones or conversations, walking past educators without recognition.

11. Using "Please" and "Thank You" Consistently These fundamental courtesy words—once drilled into students as non-negotiable—are often omitted in daily interactions. Students may ask for supplies, help, or favors without "please" and receive assistance without offering "thank you," missing opportunities to acknowledge others' kindness.

12. Saying "You're Welcome" or "No Problem" When thanks are given, the gracious response that completes the exchange of courtesy has faded. Many students simply nod, stay silent, or grunt in response, not recognizing that acknowledging gratitude is part of the respectful interaction.

13. Making Eye Contact During Conversations Looking someone in the eye when speaking or being spoken to shows engagement and respect. Today's students often look at phones, the floor, or around the room during conversations with teachers and peers, which can signal disinterest or disrespect even when unintended.

14. Holding Doors for Others The simple act of holding a door open for the person behind you—or especially for someone carrying items or who needs assistance—has become less automatic. This basic courtesy that says "I see you and I'm thinking of you" helps build community spirit.

15. Opening Doors for Others Proactively Beyond just holding doors, actively opening doors for teachers with full hands, students with mobility challenges, or anyone who could use help demonstrates awareness of others' needs and the initiative to assist without being asked.

16. Helping Without Being Asked Noticing when something needs to be done—picking up dropped papers, erasing the board, organizing materials, helping a classmate who's struggling—and taking initiative without waiting for direction or recognition teaches responsibility and community care.

17. Looking for Tasks That Need Doing The habit of scanning the environment for ways to contribute—straightening desks, picking up trash, organizing the bookshelf—shows ownership of shared spaces. Many students now wait to be told what to do rather than proactively maintaining their classroom environment.

18. Classroom Cleanup Without Reminders At the end of class or activities, automatically cleaning up one's area, putting away materials, and ensuring the space is ready for the next class demonstrated respect for teachers, peers, and the learning environment. This now often requires multiple reminders or goes undone.

19. Listening Without Interrupting Peers Allowing classmates to finish their thoughts before responding, not talking over others during discussions, and showing patience when someone struggles to express themselves are crucial social skills. The impulse to interrupt or the distraction of devices has made active listening to peers less common.

20. Apologizing When Appropriate Saying "I'm sorry" when you've made a mistake, bumped into someone, interrupted, or caused inconvenience seems less automatic. A sincere apology acknowledges others' feelings and models accountability, while its absence can make students seem entitled or unaware of their impact on others.

The Bigger Picture: These changes don't necessarily mean today's students are inherently less respectful—many factors contribute to these shifts, including increased informality in society, technology's impact on face-to-face interactions, different parenting philosophies, and evolving educational approaches that emphasize student autonomy. However, many educators, employers, and community members note that these fundamental courtesies serve important purposes: they build relationships, create pleasant shared environments, demonstrate emotional intelligence, and prepare young people for professional and civic life.

The good news is that these behaviors can be taught, modeled, and practiced at any age. When schools and families intentionally cultivate these habits, students quickly recognize how these small acts of consideration make everyone's day better and create communities where people feel valued and respected.

Food for Thought Section

Food for Thought: The Ripple Effect of Small Courtesies

Consider this: every "please" and "thank you" is a micro-investment in someone's dignity. Every door held open says "you matter." Every instance of eye contact during conversation communicates "I see you, and you're worth my full attention."

These aren't just niceties—they're the social glue that holds communities together. Research shows that workplaces with higher levels of basic courtesy report better collaboration, lower turnover, and increased productivity. Relationships thrive when people feel respected. Mental health improves in environments where kindness is the norm.

What if the decline in these practices isn't about respect at all, but about attention? In a world of constant digital distraction, perhaps students aren't choosing to be rude—they're simply not present enough to notice the opportunities for kindness around them. The classmate struggling with too many books. The teacher who just taught an inspiring lesson. The custodian who keeps their space clean.

Here's a powerful question for reflection: What kind of community do we create when no one says thank you? When no one makes eye contact? When everyone waits to be told what to do? And conversely, what becomes possible when young people master these fundamental acts of consideration?

The most successful adults aren't just those with knowledge—they're those who make others feel valued. And that skill begins with the simple manners we practice every single day.

Call to Action Section

Take Action: Bring Manners Back to Your Classroom or Home

These 20 etiquette practices don't return by accident—they require intentional cultivation. Here's how you can start today:

For Educators:

This Week: Choose three manners from this list to explicitly teach and model. Create a "Courtesy Challenge" where students earn recognition for demonstrating these behaviors.
This Month: Establish a "Manners Ambassador" program where students take turns modeling and encouraging respectful behavior. Make etiquette part of your daily routines, not a separate lesson.
This Year: Integrate character education into your curriculum. Partner with families to reinforce these expectations at home. Celebrate growth, not perfection.

For Parents:

Starting Today: Model these behaviors consistently. Children learn what they see far more than what they're told. Say please and thank you to your children, make eye contact when they speak, and hold doors for others.
This Week: Choose one manner to focus on with your child. Practice it together, explain why it matters, and notice when they demonstrate it. Specific praise reinforces behavior.
Ongoing: Create natural consequences that teach consideration—if they don't clean up, the activity ends early. If they interrupt, they wait longer for their turn. Connect actions to outcomes.

For Students:

Your Challenge: Pick three behaviors from this list that you don't currently practice. Commit to doing them every day for one week. Notice how people respond differently when you show respect and courtesy.
Level Up: Look for one opportunity each day to help without being asked. You'll be amazed at how this changes your relationships and reputation.

For School Leaders:

Schoolwide Initiative: Make this list part of your character education framework. Train staff, communicate expectations to families, and create systems that reinforce these behaviors across all settings.
Recognition Systems: Establish meaningful ways to acknowledge students who consistently demonstrate these manners—not with prizes, but with authentic recognition that shows their character matters.

Share Your Experience: Are you implementing these etiquette practices in your classroom or home? We'd love to hear your success stories, challenges, and creative strategies. Share this article with other educators and parents who care about raising respectful, considerate young people.

Download Resources: [Link to printable classroom posters, family discussion guides, or student self-assessment checklists]

Join the Conversation: Comment below with the one manner you think is most important to revive, or share which practice you've seen decline the most in your experience.

Remember: every generation has worried about the manners of the next. The difference is that we have the power to do something about it. Small, consistent actions create lasting change. Start today—your students, children, and community will thank you for it.

What will you commit to teaching or modeling this week? The classroom—and the world—is waiting for your leadership.