The recipe for the Blaster is more complex than the recipe for literacy!
"Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V, Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphour. Add an olive. Drink...but very carefully."
The recipe for literacy! Take out a great book, find a comfy place, and read with your child. Repeat daily as needed, in just a few years you will have your very own sentient being.
Dedicated to Douglas Adams